


A Quiet Moment

by orphan_account



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life
Genre: Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Hugs, Mute Gordon Freeman, No Plot, No Plot/Plotless, No canon in sight, Other, Self-Indulgent, Stream of Consciousness, Touch-Starved, aroace author, basically no canon seriously, but hopefully y'all like the self-indulgence, definitely not canon au, domestic AU, hopefully this is orphaned before then, i'm sorry but this is embarassing me, no beta we die like men, no editing, one could argue this will fit my long-running fic, self-indulgent to the point of abandoning it, they/them oc, this is kind of hlvrai kind of half-life, you could interpret this as gordon freeman & reader if you wanted to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:28:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27519889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I'm touch-starved and craving affection. So I'm gonna write about it. It just so happens that Gordon is a pretty important character to the other story I'm writing and the other character, an oc, is a self-insert, even if I refuse to directly admit it.
Relationships: Gordon Freeman & Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	A Quiet Moment

They didn't like asking for things, no matter how much they tried to stop that habit. 

And currently, they wanted to ask for a hug.

There was an itch under their skin, the desire to be held. They didn't like how physically it manifested, no matter how much they tried to fix it with their oversized sweater and layered clothing. Sometimes substitutes just couldn't cut it. Not even a heavy blanket felt like it would do much for them. They really needed a hug.

Thankfully, tonight was a movie night with Gordon, so they'd be able to ask for one. They were grateful for that. Probably a lot more grateful than usual, since they had missed out on time with their friends the past couple of weeks. Work had been extremely busy, after all.

They glanced at their text messages with Gordon, making sure that it was happening at their place this time. It was nice to alternate whose place it was, who was playing the most "host"-like that week. Having confirmed it was their place, they decided to put some popcorn in the microwave. They glanced at the time on the stove's clock: almost 7:30. Yeah, he'd be here soon.

They kind of wished he could have come earlier, they were getting really antsy.

_That's a selfish thought_ , they thought to themself. Wanting Freeman to come sooner. No wishing would change anything that would happen, and they knew he had a life outside of theirs. It wasn't nice to want the focus on themself. Other people had lives.

But for the time that they had together, they thought it was okay to be a little selfish then. So long as they let him be a little selfish. Mutual selfishness.

They let a wry grin form on their face at that thought. Friendships were funny like that, they supposed.

As they pulled out the bag of popcorn from the microwave, they heard the doorbell ring. They dropped the bag on the counter, still hot and unopened, and made their way to the front door.

"Hey," they smiled, seeing Gordon's face as they opened the door.

His eyes were just as bright, smiling in the way his features softened around the edges. Maybe he didn't truly smile, but it was a smile nonetheless. They loved to see it. They loved the way he smiled.

And they really wanted to hug him. _Not right now_ , they thought. They felt self-conscious, but purposefully ignored how much their need bothered them. Not directly addressing it meant they wouldn't be forced to lie about how they felt, and they could go a bit longer before asking. Boundaries were important.

Instead, they asked, "Do you want to pick the movie tonight?" as Gordon stepped inside and they locked the door behind him.

Once they turned to him, he signed, "Not sure, browse the options?"

"Guess so," they shrugged. "I'll join you on the couch in a bit, just popped some popcorn."

The quiet between them was familiar, comfortable. The sound of the glass bowl and the popcorn being poured into it, the buttery smell spreading through the air... the comfort of it all soothed them. They could hear Gordon shuffling around, gathering a few blankets and settling onto the couch. They smiled softly. Even if it hadn't been long, they had missed this. They were glad they had it back.

They finally came to join Gordon in front of the TV, setting the bowl on the coffee table and dragging the table itself closer to the couch.

Since Gordon had settled to one side, they quickly seated themself in the middle of the three-person couch, albeit a little stiffly as they gathered a blanket around them. They had yet to ask, after all.

Gordon tapped on their shoulder. "You okay?" he asked.

"I, uh," they let out an awkward, breathy laugh. "I'm really touch-starved?" they half-shrugged. "So, I was- y'know, just- mind if we?" they continued to struggle to find their words. Not their strongest suit. They felt themself heat up a bit from embarrassment.

In response, Gordon opened his arms and pulled them close.

They had been hugged by him plenty of times before, but this felt _really_ good. Insanely so. It was warm and comfortable, and they leaned into it, burying their face into his shoulder. They let out a small hum, releasing a tenseness in their body they hadn't realised they were holding. It was so nice just to be _held_.

One of his hands ran up and down their back, and they breathed deeply. Their own arms stayed wrapped around his shoulders, though they tightned for a moment as they became more comfortable in the embrace. It was so warm, their legs half-wrapped in blankets and the rest in his arms.

When Gordon attempted to pull away, they whined a bit, though they mostly let go. One of their hands stayed resting on his forearm, the other drifting up to rub at their arm. They really hadn't wanted to let go.

Gordon leaned over, bringing the popcorn closer to himself and grabbing the remote. He then sat back, looking at them for a moment.

He titled his head, and signed, "Cuddle?"

They nodded. They really wanted that. They took the invitation, letting themself get comfortable as Gordon leaned back and scrolled through the options, one arm draped lightly over their back. They closed their eyes, resting their head on his chest. They could hear his slow heartbeat and steady breathing, a comforting sound.

When he tapped them, they looked at the screen to see he had picked out a documentary about space.

"Yeah, sure," they murmured. "Dunno how much I'll actually pay attention..." their already quiet voice trailed off further.

Once the film started to play, Gordon set the remote down and shifted a bit, settling in further and wrapping them in his arms even further.

They sighed a bit, smiling. "...Thank you," they signed lazily, after getting his attention.

His hand absently rubbed their back as he watched the documentary, and they lay there contentedly. The motion was soothing for them, feeling the way his hand drifted over the shape of their ribs and spine, their awareness both foggy and focused on the touch. His other hand rested on the small of their back, a comforting weight and source of warmth.

They smiled absently, nestling in even further. They liked how peaceful it was, just the two of them in that moment. These were the nights they would always be grateful for.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked this. I have not been physically affectionate with anybody (willingly) since March.  
> I'm also kind of proud of myself for getting through this without naming my oc/self-insert (they do have a name, but again, I Am Embarrassed by this). I have described in this a lot of details and sensations I am either feeling or desire. (It's the touch-starvation.)  
> Feel free to leave a kudos or a comment, I always appreciate them! Comments make me super happy and giddy <3


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